Every human has secret struggles. Every pastor is human. According to a recent on-line CRN poll, only 3 pastors out of a group of 76 use accountability groups to share their secret struggles. So, who listens to pastors, hearts? Who takes care of the remaining 96%? Spouses, counselors and friends hear the secrets of 28% of those taking the poll. A breakdown indicates 12% told spouses, 9% told counselors and 7 % told friends. The rest? Sixty four percent say they have no one with whom they share their secrets. Exactly twice as many ministry professionals tell no one their secrets as told anyone their secrets.

Knowing Christian Leaders are struggling secretly without sharing these secrets is sobering. “We are as sick as our secrets.” Says the recovery proverb. Potentially the vast majority of ministry professionals are on the path from secret struggles to secret sins to public falls and failures. What can be done? If you read books on the personal lives of pastors you will discover most of these books recommend accountability groups to solve this problem. The solution used the least by ministry professionals is considered the best. No wonder the Church is dysfunctioning so dramatically. I do not believe creating more accountability groups and compelling clergy to meet in them is an effective strategy. Campaigning for this kind of accountability is more likely to be destructive than useful.

Many of those who contact the Clergy Recovery Network for help when their secrets evolve into out of control sins already have accountability groups. A pastor or missionary who is able to lie to his wife is able to lie to an accountability group. Fear and shame motivate pastors to hide their secret sins. Family and career are on the line. One such pastor sought help from CRN. When I discovered he had an accountability group, I asked what he told them about his daily Internet porn use. He replied, “I told them I have wrestled more than usual lately with my thought life. We prayed about it and went home.”

I do not believe asking more specific questions or asking as the last question, “Have you lied to us about any of the previous questions?” will improve matters. Having hall monitors for Christian Leaders does not work. Skillful probing tends to result in skillful denial. When groups are established to hold pastors accountable, these groups are seldom, if ever able to provide the essential elements of trust, shared struggles, empathy, absolute confidentiality, camaraderie and heart to heart honesty which promote open sharing and actually help clergy in their struggles. Too often no matter how we dress up such groups they come off like they are checking on the pastor to be sure he does not have struggles instead of supporting him in his struggles.

When groups are created as described above, they can even be destructive. Churches and Boards erroneously conclude their leaders, because they are in an accountability group, are doing just fine. Other measures which could be more helpful are not considered or pursued. Faulty assumptions based on secrets kept are made about the spiritual, emotional and family health of the leader. Pastors who do not feel safe to share honestly with such groups learn to lie or stretch the truth. Telling the truth to such a group would be too threatening as is evidenced by 96% of CRN poll respondents not telling their struggles to such groups.

An additional complication with these groups exists. Almost no pastor is comfortable to share his heart in such a group but saying so is almost impossible when his Board, trying their best to be helpful, establishes such a group. If a pastor had the courage to say, “I don’t find this kind of group safe and I don’t wish to participate” he would be viewed as having something terrible to hide. The Church and its leaders would be better off to recognize this approach is faulty and find healthier, more creative means of aiding their pastors’ with their personal lives.

What works better than accountability groups?

The truth? Becoming aggressive and creative in caring for Christian leaders has not been a high priority in most ministries. Denial blinds us and doing nothing and maintaining status quo is easier than thinking outside the box to help create quality environments where ministry professionals can develop healthy relationships of trust, honesty, grace and sharing. Ministry professionals are not necessarily even able or motivated to build such relationships naturally. Many need help with relationship basics. Answering the call of God does not make anyone immune to family of origin dysfunction, prepare anyone to manage competing and complex demands on family life or to deal effectively with personal struggles.

Courageous and innovative lay and clergy leaders must establish new models of functional relationships which are supportive in nature. Rather than it being okay for Christian leaders to be friendless, isolated and lonely without enough time for their spouses, we must find ways to challenge this status quo. We need to discover new and better ways of handling secret struggles, human needs and intimate relationships. Establishing a group for ministerial accountability is easy. Creating healthy environments which invite vulnerability is difficult.

Only 22% of pastors have meaningful same sex friendships. Spouse complaints about ministry husbands not being home are legendary. Easy fixes do not exist. Deep and systemic change in Church and ministry culture is required. We must create safe and nurturing environments for quality relationships to blossom and we must provide ministry staff the time and money to engage in such relationships. Secrets surface in safe and inviting relationships. Before you read some ideas of mine please know to stimulate your thinking and create some interaction on this important issue, CRN will be sending a free book to the person with the simplest and most creative comment on this issue. The book is Rooted In God’s Love. Here are some suggestions which may head us in right direction:

• Attend recovery groups like CODA and invite your church and ministry friends to go with you.
• Encouraging ministry professionals among us to develop friendships with Christian leaders in other denominations or ministries. Cross denominational quality relationships are more likely to be safe places for our struggles.
  • These relationships are more often perceived as safe when confidentiality is important.
  • These relationships are not as filled with competition and in-house rivalry.
• Funding cross denominational peer relationship building among ministry staff.
• Provide money as a matter of graceful care for the ministry professional and his spouse to see a Christian counselor without any strings attached (including having to report the reason for seeing the counselor). Normal expectations, complexities, competing priorities, relationship blind spots are all intensified by ministry demands.
• Pursue and nurture the longings and well being of ministry spouses. Paying attention to what is really going on requires providing safe settings for ministry spouses to be heard, understood and heeded.
• Encouraging the mentoring of ministry personnel by qualified mentors who are attuned to relationship issues and are able to delve below surface issues.
• Secrets which surround Internet use are easily addressed by graceful computer monitoring policies.
• Understanding and addressing the issues which surround holidays with extended families, adult children married or in college, and losses like deaths, divorces, business failures of family members is critical. Pastors’ hearts hurt too. Unattended losses foster secret acting out.
• Ministry families do not have the option of normal Sabbath and weekend rhythms. Sundays out of the pulpit and away from the ministry load to do whatever the family chooses at least once a quarter create relationship check points which constantly staying in the saddle does not provide.

Thinking conceptually regarding this issue is easier than being concrete and specific. Honestly, in some ways I can see the big picture but I am grabbing at straws. My life and ministry when I served in local churches was fraught with my dysfunction. Some of the things I suggest above we practiced. Time off each quarter, attending recovery groups, getting help from counselors and having a limited number of peer relationships are among those we practiced. Help! If you are a lay or ministry person we want to hear your heart. If you disagree with this article, let us know. Comment, think, pray, and be creative with your guidance and ideas. What do you suggest? Would you rather just have accountability group meetings? What actually works for you? What do you think might work? Will anything work? Take a stab at that free book! Make a suggestion now.

At the time, my private life and public persona were beginning to merge. My secrets had been discovered. My self deception was ending. The appearances I managed so carefully were cracking like the cheap veneer on a dresser at Good Will. It felt like my soul’s fabric was held together by only a thread. God used Gordon MacDonald that afternoon to do some mending.

As I continued to mend, I was furious when I hit the walls of secrecy at church. In recovery meetings everyone told the truth. At church keeping our secrets seemed safer than telling the truth. Once I recognized my previous participation in such secrecy and gathered bits of grace on my recovery journey, I became less angry but the dysfunction of our secrecy still troubles me deeply. Recently I visited Christianity Today’s web site and discovered God was once again touching my life through Gordon MacDonald. His article, The Secret Driven Life, speaks succinctly to my frustration with the Church’s aversioin to truth telling.

I invite you to read The Secret Driven Life posted on LeadershipJournal.net  in its entirety by clicking here. Then, please return to share your heart and your views. If you are a Ministry Professional or spouse of one please take the current poll on the right regarding leaders and secrecy. The following is a brief excerpt from the article:

I was reminded of churches where people are nice, reasonably polite, and cooperative. But with some regularity, one learns that underneath this appearance of religious composure, this person or that one is hurting terribly: firings, divorces, personal failures, doubt, addictions, sexual identity issues … the list is long. But no one speaks: neither the person in trouble nor the ones who know of the trouble. Why? Because that would threaten the fantasy that everyone’s fine. This kind of church culture starts with the idea that everyone is presumed fine until they prove differently.

• For grants for funding to be written, submitted and funded to allow CRN to launch 2 to 4 satellite offices by the end of 2010.
• For 64 of the 196 units of Courageous Journey, the mentoring manual to be written by Apr. 30, 2010.
• For all of the training materials to train Pastoral Mentors to be finished by May 30, 2010.
• For God’s supply of His specifically qualified people to lead CRN satellites and for our first Mentor Training event together to be held no later than June 30, 2010.
• For God to stabilize CRN’s and Wolery’s support and supply as never before.
• For God to continue to build me (Dale) to be the man He wants. For me to respond to the inner work of God to enable me to be all of the person, husband, father, leader of CRN, mentor and friend I am able to be.
• For God to bless and strengthen Sara as she shoulders increasing CRN responsibilities and uses her organizational skills to support the writing and expansion of the ministry.
• For God to meet the urgent and ever expanding needs of hurting clergy who need the healing of God’s touch through CRN.

 Thanks! Blessed New Year to You!

 Dale W

• Blogging: We urge you to join our blogging community. Blogging happens in our featured article below, when you comment on any of the articles on the right or when you blog on one of the articles listed under the ARTICLES BY TOPIC section. New to blogging? Click here here. Iron sharpens iron. Create some sparks if you wish.
• Polling: Wondering what is occurring with your peers? Take our latest poll (lower right) if you are a ministry professional or spouse. View and comment on previous polls and their results by clicking on Poll Archives.
• Anonymous Recovery Groups: CRN currently offers two private forums for pastors and their spouses. Click here to learn about them.

We welcome you to our site. We welcome you to our hearts. Make yourself at home!

Please pray with us regarding specific objectives in 2010. Here are the details.

It doesn’t seem that complicated. He is drowning, arms flailing. Throw him a rope. If he grabs the rope. Pull him out. Simple. Rescue complete. But in real life it seldom works that simply. There are complications. Lots of them.

This is especially true if the person flailing about in the waters of crisis and failure is your pastor? What then? What is he doing there? How did this happen? This is not supposed to happen. Isn’t he supposed to be a model to follow? Doesn’t the office of pastor have some higher standards?

Shouldn’t he be above this kind of problem? These and a thousand other painful questions emerge in rapid succession when a pastor’s failures become public. The list of painful emotions which underlie these questions is a long one as well: disappointment, betrayal, hopelessness, anger, disbelief. Congregations may find themselves drowning in a sea of painful emotions. How can one throw the other a rope if both are drowning? We have seen it many times-the unnecessary, preventable drowning of gifted people and churches that otherwise could have contributed significantly to the work of God’s Kingdom.

Such drownings are not necessary. There are other possibilities! Our hope in this article is to do three things. First, we want to explore some of the factors that put pastors and congregations at risk for a crisis of personal failure on the part of the pastor. As a part of that exploration, we want to identify ways to reduce these risk factors. Secondly, we want to offer hope to pastors and congregations who are in the midst of such a crisis. And, finally, we hope, briefly, to point in the direction of a more hope-full and grace-full future for pastors and congregations.

Let’s begin by asking this: what is it that leads to pastoral crisis and congregational trauma? It is important to recognize that the life of any individual, family system or church community exists somewhere on a continuum between shame and fear on the one hand and grace and love on the other. Where we are on this continuum-and in which direction we are headed-makes all the difference. The more our lives (as individuals, pastors, families or congregations) are rooted in fear and shame, the greater our risk for crisis. And, the more our lives are rooted in God’s unfailing love and grace, the greater the likelihood that our problems and failures will be brought into the light for healing before they become a crisis. Let’s look at some of the ways in which shame and fear put pastors and congregations at risk for crisis

THE PEDESTAL PARADIGM

When shame and fear impact a pastor or congregation the result will always be a distortion of God’s intentions. The dysfunctional system which results is caught in what we call The Pedestal Paradigm-a silent, systemic malignancy which impairs a church’s mission and poisons its ministry. The Pedestal Paradigm has two complementary components. First, churches, in ways that are often unconscious and unacknowledged, put themselves on a pedestal. They assume that they are somehow unusually blessed, uniquely “right,” better than the pack. Pedestal churches find something in their culture, doctrine, size, history, or facilities to focus on that reminds them of their special stature. Second, Pedestal Paradigm churches (and their pastors!) assume that their pastor is somehow more than merely human. Of course, no church or pastor would ever say this aloud-it is not part of a church’s formal doctrine. It is nevertheless a deeply seated, largely unconscious assumption about the pastor. He is the “spiritual leader” and somehow “above” other members of the congregation. He is, as is the church, the fount of truth. He doesn’t (and shouldn’t!) personally wrestle, relationally struggle or spiritually fail like ordinary people often do. He is the example of how things are supposed to be. The pastor’s wants and needs are not as acute as those of other people-or if they are as acute as those of others, they are more magically met by his/her close relationship with God. This set of beliefs when stated so directly sounds arrogant. And so it is. But arrogance is almost always a cover for unconscious, deep-seated shame and fear. Because of the ways the Pedestal Paradigm protects pastors and congregations from experiencing their shame and fear, it may seem like a seductive and attractive option. Let’s look more closely at four of it’s key features.

Pretense. Churches and pastors who are entangled with the Pedestal Paradigm find themselves working very hard to look good-not to be honest and open but to be without problems. There can be many reasons for this. For churches, the unspoken competition with the church around the corner sometimes pushes the congregation to be somehow more appealing in order to attract new members. This pressure to be appealing pushes a church towards the pedestal. Putting our best foot forward can easily mean putting our struggles out of sight. We may not want, for example, to invite visitors on Sunday and then find that the pastor has decided to talk about his struggles with depression during the sermon. Who, we think, will be attracted to our church if our pastor is depressed? If the pastor can’t be truly happy, who can be? If the pastor talks too much about the struggles in his relationships someone might get the idea that he isn’t as spiritual as he needs to be. Who would be attracted to a church with such a defective pastor? Models of honest vulnerability can easily get lost in this pressure to be attractive. The biblical model of ministering out of our weaknesses, as well as our strengths, is often discarded in the process.

Early in one of our ministries, one of us mentioned in a sermon that counseling had been personally helpful. A member of the church board, clearly full of anxiety, objected privately to this disclosure saying: “The next thing we know you might stand up there and tell us you are an alcoholic or something.” Just getting help implied more imperfection than this person could tolerate in a pastor. And the idea of sharing this imperfection in public was unthinkable. He believed both that a pastor shouldn’t need help–and that, if a pastor did need help, he certainly shouldn’t talk about it. The request was clear: “Please give us friendly smiles instead of painful personal struggles–no matter what the reality of your life.” Pretense had somehow become more important than reality.

Congregational members contribute to this pretense whenever they assume that a flawed pastor cannot be a good one. Why is there so much fear of a flawed pastor? We think the fear is this: if God hasn’t helped the pastor to solve his personal struggles and relationship issues, how can ordinary people like me hope for anything better? The fact that we want our pastors to be above or beyond such things suggests that we have allowed the pastor’s “success” to become our basis for hope. In reality, of course, pastors struggle just like all of us do. The Good News is that the basis for our hope lies in the love and grace of God-a much more stable foundation for hope than any pastor’s ability to perform.

We all know that pretense leads eventually to spiritual death–both for pastors and for congregations. Getting off the pedestal will mean abandoning pretense. And that means we will need to find ways to increase our tolerance for the truth–about ourselves, our families, our congregation, and our pastors. We need to do whatever we need to do to live in truth. For most of us, this will not be easy. It is not easy to face the truth about ourselves. It is not easy for us as congregations. But there is nothing but spiritual death down the path of pretense. We need to get off that path and headed down the road of truth-both as individuals and as congregations.

Perfectionism. Perfectionism is another dynamic of congregations and pastors trapped in the Pedestal Paradigm. Shame is the engine which drives perfectionism and makes it unbearably painful to acknowledge flaw, failure, or fault. The shame of imperfection is intensely painful because it connects directly to our sense of global badness, lack of holiness or core sinfulness. The slightest imperfection becomes a sign for us of a much larger problem. More importantly, any imperfection is like the dirty secret that cannot be disclosed. Rather than embracing grace, we focus on efforts to maintain “God-pleasing” performance. We tell ourselves that God “expects” us to be perfect–anything less becomes unwelcome. We see ourselves or our congregation as better than others because our shame-based self-concept will not allow us to see ourselves as anything less than perfect. This kind of shame leads relentlessly towards the Pedestal Paradigm. To get help–to move off the pedestal–would be to assume a deficiency. And that’s the one thing that Pedestal Paradigm pastors and congregations cannot do.

A pastor snared by the Pedestal Paradigm has almost always internalized the idealized hopes of a congregation. A congregation that idealizes it’s pastor–by, for example, assuming that he is above the common temptations faced by ordinary people–may think that it is just honoring God’s servant. But the price to be paid for this naivete can be very high. If a pastor internalizes the idealized hopes of a congregation it will lead directly to greater shame and to the defense of perfectionism. For example, fear and shame deep inside the pastor may be telling him “you are never going to be good enough to be loved and valued.” If the pastor is able to bring this fear and shame into the light of God’s love he will begin to discover more deeply that he is always, absolutely, unconditionally loved and valued by God. But when this fear and shame is pushed out of awareness and covered with the defense of perfectionsism it will continue to be a deep wound that festers and sets the stage for a crisis. Under these circumstances the heady wine of idealized approval becomes a powerful drug. It feels good to be acknowledged as a good person, a righteous example, and an honorable leader. It feels very good. We know from personal experience that shame-based pastors will go to great lengths to ensure the regular supply of such powerful, mood-altering affirmations. We will work hard, we will try to earn what we receive, we will try to be really good–we will, in short, try to prove that the positive stuff we are getting is stuff we deserve to get. And we will do everything in our power to be so good, so righteous, so perfect–well, you get the point. We will try to be God. We will try to be as good as God. We will forget somehow in the process that we are God’s needy creatures.

The instinct behind perfectionism is not new. We are reminded in 1 John that if we say we have no sin, the truth is not in us. The deceit of perfectionism doesn’t come to us all at once as a finished product-it is a slow and seductive process. What we really need is to give up on being good enough, on being competent enough, on being wise enough. We need to give up on all those illusions-even though our self-concept may have relied on them in the past. In their place, both pastors and congregations need big doses of grace. We need enough grace to make it possible for us to tolerate our imperfections-our failures, our defects of character. We know that this is really what the Good News is all about. Jesus did not come for the really good, honorable, competent, self-sufficient, religious folks. That is not the good news. Working hard to look like we don’t need a physician is not what the Gospel is about. Jesus came for sinners-people without an ice cube’s chance in Hades of being successful at perfectionism. The ministry in God’s Kingdom is done by broken people, for broken people, with broken people-empowered by the grace of God.

Being right. Some congregations are unwittingly seduced toward the Pedestal Paradigm by the “need” to be right. Exactly what we think it is important to be right about may vary from congregation to congregation. We may focus on being right about our doctrine, our interpretation of Scripture, our approach to life, our emphasis, our worship, our Bible teaching or our attitudes toward those who have it wrong. The dysfunction of this “us” and “them” approach is very reminiscent of the attitude of the religious leaders in Jesus’ day. Jesus reserved his strongest confrontations for those religious leaders who were convinced that they had all the right answers to all the right questions. This need to be right is often rooted in a fear that God will punish those who “get it wrong.” Who would not be afraid of a God who is ready to punish all those who make mistakes? From that fear comes all kinds of dysfunction.

For more than a decade one of us served on the staff of a church that was very proud of its distinguished history and promoted its position among the great Bible teaching churches in America. Despite the fact that the history of this church was marked by career ending staff/board conflicts, consuming bitterness, staff/board misconduct, power plays and mistrust, we were comfortable assuming that we were “right” because of our history of great Bible teaching. We were able to discount our self-destructive behaviors because our teaching was legendary. The senior pastor of this congregation often punctuated personal conversations and staff meetings with the expression: “I know I am right.” His “being right” was a quality which the congregation and the staff assumed, enjoyed and encouraged-we needed to be “right” just as much as he did. Eventually, of course, all the efforts put into being “right” could not cover our fear and shame. When sexual wrongdoing forced the senior pastor’s resignation, this need to be right made it impossible for the congregation to get off its own pedestal and to get the help it needed. The congregation was as committed to the pedestal as was the errant pastor. Outsiders who were able to discern the church’s systemic dysfunction were not given a hearing because they were not biblical-not “right”-enough. The devastation of the Pedestal Paradigm continued to mark the history of that church long after the senior pastor left. The church assumed that hiring the “right” pastor as a replacement was the solution. Their focus on the previous pastor’s moral failure allowed them to avoid congregational self-evaluation and created faulty filters in their new pastoral search process. The point is simple: congregations who live by the Pedestal Paradigm need systematic, comprehensive reconstruction, not just a change in personnel.

The antidote to the need to be right is not complicated-it is simple humility. Nothing will serve us better when struggling with the Pedestal Paradigm than a large dose of spiritual humility. It is not an easy quality to develop-it usually comes as the result of failure of one kind or another. But humility is an essential element in recovery. Humility is not, of course, that groveling, “I am such a worm” self-loathing that we may sometimes inappropriately associate with this virtue. It is rather the capacity to tolerate the truth about ourselves-both the good news and the bad. It is the ability to be who we are-deeply loved and deeply flawed humans. The way to get off the “being right” pedestal is through spiritual humility. Spiritual humility puts us on a path that can lead to true spiritual growth.

Isolation. Isolation is another characteristic of pastors and congregations who are stuck in the Pedestal Paradigm. The isolation of pastors can be so complete that they come to accept loneliness as an essential part of ministry. Rather than viewing isolation as a destructive problem, it comes to be viewed as desirable and inevitable. Many pastors have been taught in seminary that it is dangerous to have friendships within a congregation because of perceptions of favoritism and other concerns. Over time, members of the congregation may also learn to expect their pastors to live in isolation. People in most congregations cannot really imagine being best friends with their minister. Ministers are, as a result, usually profoundly friend-deficient.

As is true for all of us, the deepest roots of isolation for pastors are found in their families of origin. Each pastor has a past with the same potential for exposure to trauma and abuse which every other child faces. If a pastor’s childhood left him inclined towards unhealthy isolation in close relationships, his church can quite easily become an extension of his dysfunctional family. If he does not seek help, he will relate in his parish just as he did at home. Relationships will be shallow, honest confrontation will be avoided and deep connections will be evaded. His God-designed need for intimate connection goes unacknowledged, creating progressively intense emotional pain.

A logical extension of isolation is the possibility for secrets. Isolated from personally meaningful relationships at church, disconnected from friends and distant from his spouse, a pastor is given lots of secret space in which to fail. Who has more discretionary time alone behind closed doors than the clergy?

Isolation also makes it extremely difficult to ask for help. The lonely pastor assumes “no one understands” or he comes to believe that no one is safe for such confidences. Instead he painfully concludes, “If they knew what I was doing they would not love me at all.”

This progressive downward cycle seldom ends without a crisis. The combination of shame and isolation has led many clergy persons into lethal addictions. The precise trail of tears a pastor chooses at this point is hard to predict. He may self-medicate with addictive substances or behaviors that are socially unacceptable (alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex). On the other hand, he may channel his addictive instincts into ministry addiction-ambitiously building a mega-church, progressively getting hooked on achievement and accolades as the most soothing salve for his wounds. Others may simply zone out with sports, TV, eating and other “socially acceptable” mood altering processes.

The antidote to isolation is, of course, community. The Bible is abundantly clear about this. God has always called his people to live in community-not in isolation. It is not good for us to be alone. God never intended for his people to function like self-made individualists. The biblical use of the metaphor of the “body” for God’s family makes this very clear. If we are to free ourselves from the slavery of shame and fear we will need to make our communities safe places in which the love and grace of God are allowed to flourish.

The Pedestal Paradigm In Crisis

Pretense, perfectionism, “being right” and isolation always lead to crisis-whether in the life of an individual or a congregation. When these outgrowths of fear and shame are not addressed they will damage lives and institutions. Some churches manage to adapt to increasing dysfunction and live for generations on the pedestal in a kind of chronic crisis. But other congregations are more fortunate. These congregations and pastors find a better way-often they find it in the middle of an acute crisis. Pastoral misconduct is the most common crisis. When the pedestal collapses, another path must be found. It is not, of course, an easy transition. Fear and shame will create many forms of resistance to change.

One form of resistance is the rejection of outside help. Pedestal Paradigm churches are ideologically closed systems. They become consumed with self-sufficiency and cut themselves off from outside help. Pastors, by lip and life, largely define the values and theology of congregations. The longer a pastor has been part of a congregation, the more likely the pastor will reproduce a church “after his kind.” People who are comfortable in such closed systems are attracted to these pastors. If, for example, a pastor rejects the idea of professional help, church members will resist such help as well-or cover it up when they seek it.

The more closed the system, the less likely it is that effective help will be embraced. For pastors to seek the help they have been disparaging is sometimes too big a pill to swallow. For congregations to do so means repudiating what they have been taught.

Another form of resistance to getting help is plain, old-fashioned denial. Institutional and personal denial are an inescapable part of every crisis. Denial is a God-given protective defense against an overwhelming emergency which automatically kicks in during a crisis. Helpful denial protects us from having to take in a trauma all at once. What is initially protective and helpful, however, can become deeply damaging. Hurtful denial leads to not dealing with reality at all. This kind of denial can be lethal when the pastor, board or church members do not take problems seriously enough to seek outside help.

When people are willing to break out of the closed system and push through the denial, long-term benefits are possible. When pastors and churches overcome their natural tendency to avoid outside help they begin the recovery journey. They find hope. They change their paradigm.

The Process of Parish Recovery

We are convinced that crises always come with an opportunity for growth and change. When a pastor’s dismissal, resignation or a foreboding leave-of-absence is announced we are naturally thrown emotionally. Sometimes the emotional impact is huge. But recovering congregations can attend to the pain, can reduce the blame and can use the crisis to encourage healthy growth.

The first key to finding opportunities for recovery in a crisis is attending to the pain. Ignored pain will lead to more shame and fear. Congregations must share their pain in order to move towards grace and love. The church which creates safe places for processing pain finds bonding and healing. The temptation will always be to move too quickly past the pain. But that will mean missing critical information and opportunities. For example, it is common in the middle of a crisis for a congregation to assume that the only change needed is to choose a better pastor next time around. This is fatally flawed reasoning. Churches whose pastors have been forced to resign because of moral failure are much more likely to hire another pastor who will also fail morally than are churches where such tragedy has not yet occurred. Churches gain valuable insights about themselves when they take the time to deal honestly with their pain.

Too often, after pastoral failure becomes public, the only clear instruction given to a congregation is that they should not talk about it. Biblical texts about gossip are often mentioned in this context. And gossip is, of course, a hurtful form of communication. But silence is not the solution to gossip. Healthy communication is the solution. Not talking at all means that the loss will not be healed. It is not easy to talk in healthy ways under such circumstances. Closed systems may need a trained outsider to serve as a facilitator for congregational conversations. This much is clear: attempts to ignore the pain of a crisis only result in covert rather than overt expressions of the pain. A sure sign that a congregation is still carrying unresolved pain is when it engages in blame. Assuming, for example, that the pastor is the only problem is evidence that a church is still on the Pedestal. It is, of course, not appropriate to blame a congregation for a pastor who chooses to be immoral or who burns out. But assigning blame is not the issue here. Little progress will be made in crisis situations by focussing on ‘who is to blame.’

In addition to addressing congregational pain, any underlying systemic dysfunction must be confronted. Crises are opportunities to help a church learn how to grow in honesty, grace and love. With skilled and intentional intervention the process of rooting out fear and shame can begin. One of us spoke recently with the members of a church board who were deeply concerned about their senior minister. Ever widening staff conflict was creating a church crisis. They thought their pastor was too demanding and authoritarian with some staff members–but they feared telling him so. They were also convinced that his preferential alliances with certain staff members fueled the conflict. They had not yet, however, shared their honest anxieties with the minister. They wanted him to be open to change and grow but they had consistently given him positive evaluations that did not include any mention of their concerns. Fear of speaking the truth was beginning to paralyze their effectiveness in leading the congregation. Though the board was probably right about many of their pastor’s problems, their fear blinded them to effective solutions. When they called our office they were hoping to solve the current crisis by reorganization and rewriting job descriptions! They were looking for a consultant who could guide this process so that this popular senior minister would not have to be confronted. They feared what he might do if he became too angry. The real issues, however, were systemic anxiety and polite but dishonest dialogue. No mere rewriting of job descriptions would fix this problem! Fear and even well intentioned dishonesty always produce conflict. The board needed to face its own role in the dysfunction. Church boards and congregations who choose to courageously reexamine their systemic values are taking the first steps off the Pedestal. A congregation that has unwittingly encouraged dysfunctional behavior will need to develop a strategy for change. Outside help is often the only way to accomplish this. Such an endeavor requires asking and answering tough questions. Did we idealize, isolate or shame our pastor? Do we share our own struggles openly enough to guard against pretense? Are we as a church and board getting the help we need?

Any crisis is disorienting and painful but it is also an opportunity. Every church that responsibly addresses its pain and dysfunction will find a better path and a healthier paradigm. A church off the Pedestal may be confused and in pain–but it has a future and a hope!

The Process of Pastoral Recovery

In a crisis, a pastor is often left alone to choose the most healing and helpful solutions. But a drowning man seldom manages his own rescue. He needs help. Professional help. Unfortunately, the pastor often faces intense resistance to getting help. Resistance to getting help comes from the environment he has helped to shape, from his own internal process and from his unfamiliarity with getting help.

Every pastor exists in an environment that has developed rules about the acceptability of getting help. In far too many congregations, getting help is simply unacceptable. This prejudice against seeking professional help does not usually exist when the issues are physical problems. Physical problems are far more acceptable in our culture. It is okay to obtain the best available medical help for physical problems. Not so when the problems are emotional, mental or behavioral in nature. In many congregations getting counseling is seen as being almost as shameful as staying stuck in one’s pain or sin.

In addition to having to ask for help in a hostile environment, a drowning pastor may face many levels of internal resistance to getting help. We may fear that getting help will expose us to more criticism, potential rejection, and even cause followers to mistrust our judgment. We fear this exposure of weakness will erode the confidence necessary to lead the congregation. It may feel even like “giving in” to what a spouse has been trying to say for a long time.

Finally, resistance to getting help may be compounded because of the pastoral role as a giver of help. Pastors are regularly affirmed for giving help. They are not encouraged or affirmed when they get it or need it.

Because of the many forms of resistance to getting help, it is a real temptation to settle for inadequate solutions. Confession of sin, for example, although it may be quite appropriate, seldom uproots addictive processes or long-standing secret behavior. Jimmy Swaggert’s now famous public confession and subsequent embarrassments instruct us to avoid thinking that such strategies are enough. Sincere public grief and deep shame are not enough to dismantle the Pedestal Paradigm. The same can be said of the assumption that accountability groups are the solution to pastoral misconduct. Such groups can be helpful but they are rarely a sufficient resource for a pastor caught engaging in destructive, secret behavior. Under these circumstances the pastor has already proven that accountability alone will not solve the problem. His accountability to the board and congregation were not enough to prevent the initial destructive behavior. More accountability may simply give him more people from whom he feels a need to hide!

Instead of resisting help and settling for inadequate solutions, pastors and congregations need to learn to create communities where there is no shame or fear in seeking professional help. How many forced resignations could we avoid if we decided to be sane about getting help? How many future disasters could we avoid by simply getting the help we need as we need it? Wouldn’t we honor our Lord more if we got help before our failures made their way to the front page of the local paper or on to our television screens in shows like Hard Copy?

We learned recently of a church where the senior pastor was forced to resign because of moral failure. His stance had been clear on psychological resources–even Christian resources. They were to be mistrusted. Yet during the years immediately prior to his dismissal, six of the eight senior staff members at his church were secretly seeing therapists. Three of those who were getting help had major sexual issues with which they struggled. And the senior pastor, who was unaware that his staff was getting help in secret, was himself involved in a long series of sexually inappropriate relationships with members of the congregation. This kind of insanity can only be sustained in a closed system where the Pedestal Paradigm reigns. The church ultimately was destroyed. How different the outcome might have been if the pastor had seen his need for help and sought it openly and courageously. How different it might have been if the church had been a safe place for strugglers to find hope.

From Pedestal to Recovery

Pastors and churches that are rooted in fear and shame often tenaciously cling to the Pedestal Paradigm. Fortunately, however, this is not the only paradigm available. Things do not have to be like this. There is a saner, more grace-full, more truth-full and more biblical path. We need not exist generation after generation stuck on that self-blinding and self-defeating pedestal. We can learn to live in grace and love. We can choose a better paradigm–a recovery paradigm. The Christian recovery model assumes that we are works in process–not finished products. We are flawed–not faultless. It assumes our Father delights in our journey toward his love and grace.

As we mentioned early in this article every individual, family and church exists on a continuum between shame and fear on the one hand–and grace and love on the other. Being a person in recovery, or being a recovering congregation, means that we are moving on that continuum away from fear and shame–towards love and grace. The process of transformation is, however, rarely smooth. There will be many times when it feels like two steps forward, one step back. A sustained focus on the goal is what we need–the goal of becoming a grace-full, loving congregation. What will move us in that direction? What might cause churches and pastors to move toward grace and love? We have room in this article for only one example:

A large church phoned recently to seek help for their pastor. The pastor had been on the staff of the church for almost a decade. His role in building the congregation was significant. He was one of their stars. He had, however, been caught more than once using the Internet to view pornography. The church leadership felt they had no option but to find a nice way to get him and his family help and to remove him from the staff team. They wanted us to tell them what kind of help was available. As we talked, it became clear that the impending board meeting (that night) was a critical one. At this point in the conversations among the leadership all the focus was on the pastor and everything was headed in the direction of dismissal even though the pastor was very popular. One of us asked the chairman of the church board this question: “Is the pastor the only person in the congregation, or for that matter on the church board, who has this problem?”

It was not really a difficult question. He knew the answer. Of course not. The obvious follow-up question was this: “Is there a way to respond to the pastor’s problems in a way that might help some of the other people who struggle with this issue at the same time?” There was a long pause. This was an entirely new thought. The question needed to be asked several times in different ways in order for this new thought to find a place to grow. Gradually the focus of our conversation shifted. The issue had changed from how to get rid of a popular but “troubled” pastor to how to respond to a very common problem in the congregation–a problem shared by the pastor. This shift in focus was not easy. It was not a smooth transition. But it was a critical shift. An opportunity emerged for the whole church to deal honestly and graciously not only with the pastor but also with every person in the congregation who struggled with similar problems. Creative possibilities emerged. Maybe the board could grant a leave of absence, secure quality help for the pastor and his family, and then address these issues openly in the congregation. Maybe the healing pastor could eventually share his emerging story of healing. Maybe a support group could be started for people who struggle with this issue. Maybe, just maybe, if we let the pastor down off the pedestal and start to tell the truth–maybe this could all end in growth and healing for many people. By taking seriously the pastor’s need for recovery and by facing the fact that the pastor’s struggles were common to many in the congregation, they opened the door to a much more grace-full future for the congregation. If they had chosen to get rid of the pastor–instead of getting rid of the pedestal–the outcome would have been very different.

We do not mean to imply that it is always wise or possible to retain a pastor who has fallen. But it is never wise to terminate someone without at least fully pursuing restoration. Nothing can have a more positive impact on a body than healing one of its significant parts. This approach requires a church to slow down the process and to accept outside help. Quick terminations seldom bring quality growth and usually lead to repeated crises. Creativity, combined with a commitment to honesty and grace, can lead to lasting, long-term change.

This story is an example of how one congregation began to step away from the Pedestal and towards the freedom of recovery. There are many ways a church might begin this journey–any step that moves us away from fear and shame and closer to grace and truth. We can be certain that, as we face and let go of our pretense, our perfectionism, our need to be “right” and our isolation, fresh creative options will begin to present themselves. We will find ways to actively practice honesty, compassion, humility and interdependence. And, as we commit ourselves to these new ways, we will gradually become more grace-full communities.

It is our prayer that many churches and pastors will be empowered by our gracious Father to step off the Pedestal and to discover the life-giving experience of sinking roots deeply into the soil of God’s unfailing love. If you are a pastor, spouse or someone who loves one, please take the next step toward healing and hope. Click here to continue the journey.

Dale Wolery is the executive director of the Clergy Recovery Network. Dale Ryan is the CEO of Christian Recovery International.

The Internet is astonishing but is also a problem. No good tool seems to be free of abuse and nothing creates more challenges for ministry professionals, their families and their ministries than the Internet. On-line pornography, time wasting games, chat rooms, dating services and a variety of other tempting Internet offerings stream endlessly into clergy offices. One author calls on-line porn the crack cocaine of sex addiction. The substance on the screen is constantly inexpensively available and once hooked whether pastor or parishioner becoming free is less likely with each use. Easily available, highly addictive. Crack for clergy. The available statistics are staggering.

Clergy Internet use begins with the enormous waste of precious pastoral hours. Unchecked it ends with a pastor’s self respect dismantled, his career in the proverbial toilet and his relationships in shambles. The darkness and rapidity of the descent into illicit on-line use is powerfully present in clergy ranks.

One pastor hooked on porn told CRN, “I am the darling in my denomination and if anyone ever finds out about my pornography use I will be tossed to the curb.” He went on to say, “I have always been the pure one, the one with the answers, the one who could be trusted but this stuff on the Internet has taken charge of my life in less than six months.” His telling the truth was the beginning of lasting change but his rapid descent into darkness and his fear of discovery is as common as communion in churches today.

Material once only obtainable in seedy sex shops is now accessible in unlimited quality and variety in the privacy of the pastoral study. A progressively destructive pornography addiction has all the increasingly problematic content necessary to allow the enslaving hooks to sink deeper and deeper without others knowing or suspecting. The accessibility and availability of pornography, escort contact and chat rooms entice lonely isolated Clergy who would never have dared to risk reputations and careers by going to the wrong part of town to search for a more powerful hit. For too many pastors, the wonder of computer technology has become the ever present dealer of illicit substances. Pursuing a porn hit with increasing punch has progressively ensnared wonderful pastors in every denomination.

Several factors compound the pastor’s potential improper use of the Internet. For example, most professionals are not afforded the uninterrupted time alone behind closed doors pastors are. Clergy persons are supposed to study in secure seclusion. Uninterrupted time alone creates tempting vulnerability for the unsuspecting pastor. Most Christian organizations are naive about their leader’s use of the Internet too. This naivete leads to less policies than safer norms dictate and also creates less care than normal through screening, monitoring and protecting ministry employees from Internet abuse. Despite all the media attention regarding the dangers of on-line pitfalls it is hard for most ministry boards and Church staff leaders to construct the policy and technical safeguards other organizations build. We have all heard of ministry leaders who got caught looking at porn on-line but it is hard for us to imagine our chosen ministry leader looking at porn. If you are a person who influences church policy on this matter and wish to consult with Dale W regarding this go to I Need Help and let Dale know what you need.

In addition to the dangerous exposure mentioned above, Pastors are also more susceptible to Internet sexual abuse than most other professionals because of the current dysfunctional nature of ministry systems. Go to Hooked on Sex to read about seven reasons why clergy are more sorely tempted sexually than others. Isolation, lack of friends, arrogance, etc. are Achilles heels toward which the Internet hurls its arrows.

Pastor, if the Internet has its hooks in you and you are wondering what to do we invite you to go to I Need Help and gain confidential help regarding your Internet use. You deserve all the grace and help you can give yourself on this issue. Taking steps before being found out greatly increases the likelihood of your whipping this powerful trap. You and the Lord are not likely to solve it on your own or you would not be reading this. Courageous honesty will free you. Go for it.

But, you may be asking, “Will my wife have to know?” If this is your concern we will do all we can to interact with you to help you deal with your struggles and help you determine if you should tell, how you should tell and when you should tell. Facing this alone can be overwhelming and overly fearful. We will help you and stand with you. Hope will grow as you take steps toward help, even if the steps are baby steps.

You are not sure you are entangled in the Internet in an addictive way? Please take the on-line test regarding sexual issues. The test results will be available to you immediately and you will have more information with which to seek help. We urge you to shake off the embarrassment of the Internet chains and take at least the first step toward real freedom. Go to Finding Help and begin telling the truth confidentially. You can be set free.

Want computer protection which works? At CRN all of the office and personal computers are protected by Covenant Eyes. Covenant Eyes is an inexpensive software which keeps track of every site you visit and sends the report of your visits to your chosen partner. It alerts your partner to the sites visited which it considers objectionable and serves to allow you all the freedom you would enjoy on the Internet with a friend sitting next to you in your office. It works. Go to Covenant Eyes to sign up today. It is inexpensive. If you lack a person to serve as your partner (we do not suggest your spouse be your partner) you can go to I Need Help, contact Dale Wolery and see if he will serve as your partner or suggest someone for you. This fine tool of course keeps track of the time spent on the Internet too and can help with all issues related to on-line use. Taking advantage of the tools available at Finding Help and Covenant Eyes could save your marriage and ministry. You should be proud of yourself for any step toward help you are bold enough to take. We are waiting to help.

Pastor, can you imagine yourself in this picture?

It is miles from civilization in the heart of the Bob Marshal Wilderness. You could be there with a select group of your peers, relaxed on horseback looking for the right pool to sink your line and snag native trout for dinner by camp fire. If your heart needs the wilderness we will do everything we can to put it there. Leaders need the nurturing graceful wilderness experiences.

September 27 through October 4, the Clergy Recovery Network will host its 4th annual horseback adventure for clergy. We will gather on Sunday evening the 27th and leave from the Great Falls airport on the 4th. This excursion will be in the Bob Marshall Wilderness of Montana. You are invited to join Dale Wolery, CRN’s Founder/Director and his team of North Central Montana horse and wilderness enthusiasts on this incredible adventure. Brad Anderson, Roger Lincoln and Paul Wolery are our committed volunteer team members. Keep scrolling and meet the team. We are currently limiting the trip to four ministers. Please read the material on this web site, and apply early. Assume you can come. Live a little! This experience could change you for eternity. If you have concerns before you apply, email or call (406-292-3322) Dale. Register early as only four clergy will be approved.

Where will you be?

Western Montana has more than a million and a half acres of federally designated wilderness. The more than 2400 square miles of awesome beauty will nurture your soul and build memories for a life time. We will ride primarily in the Bob Marshall Wilderness. If you search on line you will catch glimpses of its vast grandeur. Google Earth does not do it justice! “The Bob” as it is affectionately called is host to towering mountains, lush meadows, roaring rivers, gentle streams, placid lakes and herds of magnificent Elk. It is a cornucopia of endless scenic beauty. There are no roads. No motorized equipment or vehicles. Most human beings will never view its majesty.

We will enter the Bob on its East side at Benchmark, establish a base camp and explore the untouched wonder of some of God’s choicest handiwork.

What about the riding challenge?

If you are an experienced horseman you will ride a horse commensurate with your skills. The horses available to us match virtually all skill levels. If you are inexperienced or have never ridden the challenge of learning to ride and riding in Montana’s wilderness may seem too much for you. Don’t quickly make this assumption. Horses vary in experience just like people. Well trained and experienced horses are often wonderfully understanding and easy for novices to ride. Of course you must make this judgment and the decision is yours alone but it just might be the kind of challenge the Lord could use to take you out of your normal comfort zone and refresh your spirit. Ronald Regan is often quoted as saying, “There is nothing as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse.”

In our first clergy adventure into the Bob two of the ministers were seriously green “green horns” and despite some saddle sores, met the physical and spiritual challenges like real warriors. Both were powerfully positive about the adventure and its benefits in their lives. Being a “City Slicker” on horseback in the wilderness works its wonders!

If you are not an experienced rider you will likely wrestle with being saddle sore but the experience will stretch you emotionally and spiritually. Don’t let your lack of experience stop you from this adventure.

Your CRN leadership team is committed to your safety and will not put you on a horse we believe is too much for you. You will receive clear instruction and each of us will be observing you and your horse and readily offer help if you need it. Yes, accidents do happen. Yes there is risk. This is why we are riding horses instead of All Terrain Vehicles. Horses can at least see where they are going!

As a team we are used to Western Pleasure Riding and do not typically ride with protective helmets. If you wish to take this extra safety precaution you must bring it with you.

Meet the Team.

THE LINE UP: They all do have white hats!!

Every member of the CRN team is a volunteer. We are not professional guides or outfitters. We do not do this for a living nor does any member of the team do this kind of work in a part-time way. No one receives any pay for this and the donations you make to the Sterling Wolery Memorial Fund only cover a portion of the costs associated with your participation.

Brad & Bonnie Anderson

Brad Anderson is a Montana native, life long farmer and ranch hand. He is married to Bonnie and they are the parents of two teenagers, Logan and Haylee. Brad is a skilled horseman with years of experience and broken bones to prove it. His horseback adventures hunting and riding in the Bob Marshal Wilderness with a variety of groups make him a sought after wilderness team member and horse wrangler. His extensive experience, practical wisdom and cautious spirit suit him well for leadership in the Bob.

Roger & Mable Lincoln

Roger Lincoln, also a Montana native, is a farmer, pilot, horseman and jokester. He is married to Mabel, the father of two grown sons and the proud grandfather of adult granddaughters. He has raised Quarter Horses commercially, hunted elk in the Bob and piloted into its beauty numerous times. His ready wit is matched by his willingness to serve unselfishly. His alert instincts to personal and camp needs render him priceless. Roger’s winsome congeniality and years of experience suit him well for his leadership among us.

Paul & Nancy Wolery

Paul Wolery, again a Montana native is a farmer, former rancher (cattle and horses), and trained mechanic. He is married to Nancy and they are the parents of two adult children, a teenager and he is the grandfather of Imani. He and his horse Sunday are often found at the leading end of the trial. Paul, Dale’s first cousin, is attentive to details, is a skilled camp cook, has amazing cleanliness for a guy, is an experienced wilderness horseman, and brings loads of leadership to any wilderness experience.

Click here to be introduced to Dale and his wife Sara. (link here to Dale and Sara Intro page)

What are the accommodations?

Camp will be nestled beneath the towering peaks of the Bob Marshal wilderness at Benchmark Campground. Luxury tenting best describes your home away from home. You may enhance the luxury by bringing a good sleeping bag. The weather in the Bob can fluctuate dramatically so a quality sleeping bag is required. You can even bring your own pillow. If you don’t bring one, one will be provided. The large wall tent used won’t provide a lot of privacy but it has a stove you will quickly come to love.

A well with potable water is close by and there are clean National Forrest Service restrooms too. There is no running water in these facilities but the privacy and convenience they provide is appreciated.

Sunday at the beginning of the trip and Monday at its conclusion we will make arrangements for you to stay in the homes of team members. You will have privacy in these homes and of course confidentiality will be appropriately maintained. Motels nearby can be arranged at your expense but we do not recommend this.
What about the food?

The best. All you can eat. Man-sized meals are the norm. Campfire coffee will greet you each morning as the smells of breakfast beckon. We will fill the largest black iron skillet you have ever seen with lots of bacon, eggs and hash browns. After breakfast you will wonder if your horse will be able to carry you and all you ate. Breakfasts built for loggers are hallmarks of our trips into the Bob.

Lunches and snacks are packed in saddle bags and eaten under Montana’s big sky in different locations every day. When we return to camp meals designed by men for men will sooth the saddle sores and fill your stomach. We will eat thick steak, barbequed pork and fried potatoes around the camp fire. If we catch trout we will eat them fresh. Wow, there is nothing quite like these camp dinners to ready the mind and body for the sleeping bag as darkness descends. You will need some spending money as you may wish to purchase a meal or three in transit from place to place.

Bring your appetite. No quiche.

What about the spiritual stuff?

Every pastor who rides with us into the Bob has spiritual needs just like the team which leads him. You will not be Pastor Bill in the Bob. You will be just a guy. One more bozo on horseback. We are human beings who wrestle with secrets, haunting fears, unexpressed feelings, longings for solitude and rest, relationship challenges, and unfulfilled spiritual hunger. The experience itself feeds the soul with unstoppable wonder. A wilderness enhanced God consciousness will result in whole person refreshment. You will be reminded like the Psalmist in Psalm 121 how entirely your help comes from the Lord.

We will also have planned spiritual activities led by Dale which will inspire graceful living and leading. These times will be participative, filled with lively discussions and heart felt sharing. The heart of the matter is the heart and it is our intention to help you plumb the depths of yours in a “Wild at Heart” kind of way. Each group is different and our discussions are designed to meet the needs of your group. You will be asked to share your story early in the week and your vulnerability will be part of the bond which the Lord will use in all our lives.

You will also have opportunity to interact confidentially and personally with Dale as you desire and time allows. Some may want more individual time to meet with Dale than the trip will allow. If schedules permit Dale may be available to schedule time with you before or after the wilderness adventure. Contact him after you are approved for the trip to determine his availability.

What else can you expect?

You will ride.

Whether you are an experienced horseman or a certifiable city slicker you will saddle up and ride in the pristine beauty of Montana’s Rockies. Horses will be selected for you depending on your skill level. We will provide special care, preparation and training for you to ensure your comfort on horseback is maximized. Leg and “back side” soreness are common if you have not ridden for some time. We will do all we can to minimize this. The riding trails in the Bob though well maintained, will challenge you to trust and persevere. You will be riding with men who are familiar with each trail.

You will escape.

There are no cell phones, land lines, Internet hook ups, computers, or pay phones. You will not lead staff meetings, pay bills, wrestle with budgets or attend board meetings. You will not be preaching sermons, counseling parishioners, visiting the sick or conducting weddings. You will be shocked by the serenity. Wilderness areas are restricted from even having motorized equipment or vehicles for maintenance. There is no traffic or noise pollution. In case of emergencies Rangers will find us. Otherwise, no one will disturb our journey.

You will work.

Each participant is expected to be a fully engaged team member. Meal preparation, clean up, loading packs, chopping and gathering fire wood, saddling horses and erecting tents are activities in which you will need to participate. The camaraderie of shared tasks makes the wilderness experience enjoyable. When you eat the way we do you won’t be reluctant to dive in and work it off enthusiastically.

You will take pictures.

The mountains, meadows, rivers and lakes of the Bob will be some of the finest scenery your eyes have enjoyed. Of course, some of the spectacular vistas cannot be fully captured on film or digitized but you will want to try. Since most folks back home will never believe your tales of this adventure, you will likely want your clergy peer to snap a picture of you all cowboyed up on your mustang. You are encouraged to economize on the size of your camera. Changing lenses and carrying the heavier camera models around your neck while riding mountain trails can be awkward. No picture of you on this trip will ever be used by its participants or member of the CRN team.

You will fish.

High mountain lakes with Cutthroat Trout and celebrated rivers will beg you to test your hand at fly fishing or casting with lures or bait. Out of state two day licenses cost $25.00. License costs are your responsibility and you will have opportunity to purchase your license after you arrive.

Renshaw Lake and the South Fork of the Sun River have historically been good to us. With some luck we will eat your catch over an open fire. You must bring whatever fishing gear you choose to use. We will schedule fishing on two consecutive days so your two day permit can be fully utilized.

If you choose not to fish there will be time for some hiking, exploring on your own, reading, relaxing or just plain staring at the sky. Whether you have ever fished or not, if they are biting you will want to fish. Native trout streaking toward the frying pan in a clear mountain lake are hard to resist.

What if there is an emergency?

If you are injured and need medical attention, we will transport you to medical facilities as quickly as possible. If our moving you is not wise we will contact Rangers for your transport. This can be a time consuming process and is part of the risk. There is an air strip for emergencies close to our base camp. We will be in contact with your emergency contact person as necessary. All medical expenses are your responsibility.

What if an emergency occurs at your home while you are in the Bob?

You cannot be reached by normal means while we are in the wilderness. This includes the base camp at Benchmark. Some cell phones may work dialing 911 but essentially there is no cell coverage. If there is an emergency at a participant’s home the family will need to contact the Forest Rangers at the Flathead Forrest Service who will have to travel and find the CRN group. Your family or contact person must know our base camp will be located in the Benchmark Campground, west of Augusta, Montana. Simply copy the information below and distribute it to everyone in your life who needs to know.

Emergency Contact:

Sara & Dale Wolery: 406-292-3311 or Sara’s Cell: 406-868-9761
Flathead Forest Service 406-466-5341 or 406-758-5376
The Clergy Recovery Network group is camping at the Benchmark Campground west of Augusta, Montana. There is no phone contact while at the campground or out on the daily rides. The CRN party returns each evening to camp at Benchmark where Rangers can locate them.

What equipment is required?

You must bring some items with you. If you do not have the required items when you arrive in Great Falls you will need to purchase them. We will not be happy campers if you force us to go shopping!! Shopping is not considered an adventure for most men. If you arrive late in the day the only store open is Wal-Mart. Remember, you do not need to own most of these items and folks in your life and ministry will likely feel privileged to loan you gear.**

The following gear is required unless otherwise stated:

• Quality sleeping bag.
• Cot or Air mattress optional but hard ground is seldom comfortable.
• Toiletries appropriate for cold creek bathing. Towels and wash clothes are provided. Bathing out of a basin and shaving as you desire is available and optional.
• Clothes which are weather appropriate (we can be more specific as we near our trip but jeans, long sleeve shirts, gloves and heavy jacket are necessities). Shorts are not appropriate for riding. Insulated gloves especially if you are not used to cool weather and even a scarf are usually necessary. Socks should be heavy and wool if you have them.
• Boots. Remember you will be riding. We do not want your wide boot getting stuck in a stirrup. Some hiking boots are too wide on the sides and have too much tread on the bottom to use safely on horseback. Riding boots of some kind are best. The best boot all around is the roper style boots which pull on instead of lace. They are a good combination of smooth sole; lower heal for walking and narrow fit for stirrups. We will do all we can to accommodate your boots and make you comfortable. If you are purchasing boots for the trip please break them in well in advance.
• Shoes (tennis, rubber rain boots, etc.) for comfortably walking around camp if you are not used to walking in your riding boots. Optional.
• Rain gear. Sunshine is the norm but rain does not mean we will sit in the tent all day. We will ride. An inexpensive plastic poncho is great. Cheap rubber boots to cover your other boots are nice.
• Fishing gear if you plan to fish. Be conservative as we will be packing this equipment on horseback. Less is best. Poles need to be in tubes.
• Camera (the smaller the better) and film as you desire. If you have an especially powerful set of small binoculars bring them! Optional.
• Blank tablet and pen.
• Prescribed medication.
• If you are not used to riding, powder, Vaseline, corn starch and various other products are known to help with blisters on one’s derrire. Choose your poison! Not so optional.
• Cold, anti-inflammatory and flu medication may be needed. Optional.
• Cool weather hat/cap preferably with ear muffs.
  Cowboy hat if you desire. These provide nice shade if the wind isn’t too strong. Optional.
  Riding helmet if you choose for greater safety. Optional.
  Baseball hat for hot windy weather. Optional.
• Chaps are handy if you have them. Optional.
• Ear plugs. These are optional but then so is sleeping.

**If you wish you may ship your gear in advance of the trip via UPS or USPS to Dale & Sara Wolery, 2316 Highway #2, Joplin, MT 59531. This should of course be done well in advance.

Typical Schedule:

Three meals a day, group meetings, campfire cookouts, pictures and all the other fun stuff will occur within this basic outline.

Sunday, Sept. 28, 2008

Arrive in the afternoon/evening at GTF (Great Falls, Montana Airport)

Monday, Sept 29, 2008

Packing and Rider Training
Relaxing and getting acquainted
Meeting your mount and accompanying rider training if necessary
Final preparation including loading
Bon fire and BS

Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2008

Leave early for the Bob
Set up base camp
Ride if possible

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 through Saturday, October 4, 2008

Ride, sight see, pictures, enter the Bob
Fish
Ride

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Ride, if possible
Break camp and load
Travel to Joplin
Hot shower and shaving optional

Monday, October 6, 2008

Return to Great Falls for your flight home.

Forrest fires, snow, rain and other natural phenomena, can alter our dates or a specific daily plan. This is not often the case and we will do every thing in our power to provide what we are advertising. Should it be necessary to cancel because of a natural disaster in the wilderness we have other options and will give you choices.

Required Behavior:

Please know we are basically a gracious fun-loving crew. We are, however, intent on your safety and our own, want groups which crystallize well, and would like to preserve this experience for ministers for years to come. You are responsible for your behavior, health and safety.

Inappropriate and unsafe behavior will not be tolerated. If a member of our group engages in such he will be warned and should the inappropriate behavior continue, will be transported immediately to the Great falls airport where our responsibility will end. The costs of such transportation will be the responsibility of the member of the group who is transported.

Confidentiality before, during and after the adventure is required. For some men to be willing to come and share openly on our adventure, complete confidentiality is required. Who you see on the trip and what is said on the trip must stay on the trip. Pictures of participants are not a necessary part of the adventure. We will determine on our first day whether or not some participants request not to be photographed. You will be trusted and expected to honor this and all other stated and not stated but implied components of confidentiality. Your team members respect and appreciate their necessity to maintain strictest confidence.

Funding and Costs:

You are responsible for all costs associated with transportation between your home and Great Falls, Montana (Airport code: GTF). You must arrive on the Sunday, September 28, 2008, preceding our adventure and return on Monday, October 6, 2007. We will pick you up at the airport and provide transportation for your return to the Great falls airport. If you can arrange to arrive in the afternoon it is optimal. If you arrive early in the day you will likely have some free time waiting for the rest of the crew. If you arrive late we will all wait on you. Our starting location is 100 miles from Great Falls. We won’t be running back and forth. Try to schedule your return on Monday for midday so neither you or others in the group are terribly inconvenienced by a too early flight out.

Typical outfitters charge in the $300.00 per day range for this type of adventure. Because of committed volunteer guides, borrowed steeds and donations like yours and others to the Sterling Wolery Memorial Fund of the Clergy Recovery Network you may participate at a fraction of normal wilderness adventure costs. We expect to receive from you a donation of about $450.00 for the entire adventure. You are also responsible for a fishing license if you choose to fish, medical expenses you may incur and any dietary needs which are outside our normal planning. This donation in its entirety must be in the Clergy Recovery Network office by August 31, 2008.

Costs for these adventures are large. Food, insurance, transporting horses, transportation from and to the airport and to and from the wilderness, fierier expenses (shoeing one horse suitably for a mountainous trip like this costs $60.00), and certifiable horse feed are some of the costs. Your donations to the Sterling Wolery Memorial Fund help with these costs and may be charged on credit card, made via automatic withdrawal from your account or plain old check.

Learn more about the Sterling Wolery Memorial Fund here.  You may go here to make your donations on line. Designate your donation to the Sterling Wolery Memorial Fund. If you send a check make it payable to the Clergy Recovery Network and mark it clearly for the Sterling Wolery Memorial Fund. If you would rather talk to a live person and use your Credit Card, call 406-292-3322. Remember you do not need to donate any funds until you are notified personally you have been approved for the adventure.

In some extraneous circumstances additional subsidies will be granted. There is a place on the application for you to indicate your need. Dale and the team will evaluate your situation and let you know if help is available.

Registration Requirements:

You must complete the application form Fill it out entirely and submit it as directed. The application must be accompanied by three documents (either use a scanner and then email or fax to 406-292-3256).

• The completed, signed and dated Indemnification and Defense form.
• The completed, signed and dated Health Waiver form.
• A copy of the front and back of your health insurance card.

When you are approved as a participant you will be notified by Dale that you have been approved for the trip you will be expected to do the following:

You must make an initial donation to the Sterling Wolery Memorial Fund of $100.00. If you are then unable to attend or choose not to participate, this remains a nonrefundable donation.

You will notify Dale via email that you have advised your family members and other important people in your life you will be in the Bob Marshal Wilderness at the Benchmark Camp Ground and that you have given them the following numbers in writing to be used only in case of emergency.

You can begin to make travel arrangement to and from Great Falls, MT (Airport code: GTF) on the appropriate dates. Email a copy of your confirmed flight arrangements to Dale as soon as you have them.

You must donate the balance of your share of the trip’s expenses on or before August 31, 2008.

One of the pastors just wrote, “You forced me to realize there’s no way forward except in the grace of God–unless we’re going to self-medicate ourselves into early graves. I kept thinking after you told your story, ‘How did he go forward from there?’ You made the answer clear. Thank you, brother, thank you very much. It’s changed my preaching; I pray the Lord continues to change my life.” You are able to view some of the action in a slide show of the adventure. [[Show as slideshow]] Pastor, if you would like to sign up for next year go here.