The Sin Confess Cycle is bad theology and a faulty approach to effective Christian living. Most ministers are susceptible to it none the less. This cycle goes something like this: sin and confess, sin and confess, sin and confess and on and on in mindless repetitive cadence. Of course John taught us to confess our […]
Why Do I Resist Help?
Seeking help does not come naturally for most of us as members of the clergy. From the independence of the American spirit to the axiomatic resistance of the male ego there are lots of reasons we resist getting help when we struggle with addictions or other human problems. Pastors find seeking help especially difficult.
Who Do I Tell When?
Who do you tell? What should you tell? When should you tell? As a secret life begins to unravel it is difficult to know what to say, when to say it and to whom you should tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
What About Relapse?
Recovery is hopeful, life giving and life changing. Relationships can be restored, trust rebuilt and fragmented lives integrated. Recovery works if you work it. There is of course no one who works recovery perfectly. Relapse is a part of the recovery journey. Relapse happens. What do you do when it does?
It is so unequivocal. Straightforward. Obvious. The answer is not a complicated one at all. What is the question? Why would any one get help? Why would anyone choose to go to a recovery group meeting? If only your spouse knows about it, why go to group? Why would a normal person like me, Dale […]
Getting a Little Help
We, Dale and Sara Wolery, met, married and lived happily ever after – for one month. Sara, my wife, and I failed even the standards of conventional wisdom which projected that we would “honeymoon” for at least 3 months. It hurt so badly. We agonized out loud about whether or not it had been God’s […]
Why I chose a “secular” recovery group
by an anonymous pastor in recovery I am a pastor. And I am a sex addict. Like all sex addicts, I resisted any kind of recovery for a long time. I was too ashamed and too afraid. I knew that entering recovery would mean telling someone the truth about my struggles, about my failures and […]